Questions
by Pinchy
Summary: Judy is determined to get to know her favorite fox for who he really is and to get past his cool exterior. A light exploration between Nick and Judy's relationship and Nick's background.
1. Chapter 1

Questions

Hello! This is the same as the previous chapter 1, only more digestible (I hope!)

Again thanks for any and all reviews and comments and criticism.

Zootopia belongs entirely to Disney. I own nothing.

 **Chapter 1**

Judy Hopps hated unanswered questions. As she lay in bed, tossing and turning, fur drenched in sweat and her blankets long since kicked to one side, she could almost feel them hanging over her, mocking her. The moons rays shone through the open window, illuminating her small apartment and letting in a wisp of cool air. The drone of passing cars came and went, occasionally faint laughter and distant voices could be heard floating upwards from the streets below. The faint snores of her neighbours from the adjacent room could be heard through the walls.

A hush had fallen on all of Zootopia. And yet every time Judy felt herself slipping away into the light embrace of sleep, another question appeared. She groaned. Not since the Howlers case had she felt the same frustration and even then she had been too busy or scared to dwell. There had always been another lead to follow and another bad guy to chase then. This was much more difficult.

" _Dumb fox"_ she grumbled into her pillowcase, eyes clenched shut.

Nick was never too far from his mind... And there he was: shining orange fur, bright green eyes and his sly smile. That abominable light green shirt and loosened purple tie. Even after he joined the force, she still always imagined him in his old outfit. He always appeared either leaning on a wall or strolling casually down some alleyway, not a care in the world.

His voice echoed through her mind: _"Never let them see that they get to you"_. Calm but with a twinge of sadness.

Judy shivered slightly at the memory. Nick had lowered his guard for once: the cool hustler had faded away, leaving a fox as emotional and as vulnerable as every other animal in Zootopia.

" _Why do I keep thinking about that?."_ Judy pondered. It was a important moment in their friendship, when she and Nick had finally become more than just reluctant allies, but there was more too it. The case was over, Nick had become a police officer and a partner and they should have lived happily ever after. He had finally dumped his tasteless shirts and ties for a uniform, made friends of everyone in the ZPD (except Bogo but Nick was convinced that the Chief was warming to him. At the very least the death threats had decreased), and had become the partner she had always dreamed of: even if he did drive her nuts sometimes. He always had a joke or snarky comment prepared, normally accompanied with that easy smile and mischievous wink.

" _Never let them see that they get to you"_.

The reason for Judy's unease slowly took shape. _"How many people to do you think Nick's opened up to?_ " came first and it was as if a dam had broken. More questions came pouring into the forefront of her mind " _What makes you think Nick's opened up to you?". "How much do you actually know about him?". "Where does he live?""Does he have a family?" "What does he do for fun?"What does he want?" "Is he even happy?"._

Judy felt a hollowness in her stomach. "S _weet cheese and crackers, what kind of friend am I?"_ she whispered into the dark. No answers came but the questions continued to taunt. Casting her mind back to the dozens of conversations on patrol or in the office, not once had Nick revealed anything about his private life. Whenever the topic came up, he always had had a joke, a story or a cutting comment which would leave bystanders crying with laughter.

Judy's heart dropped with shame and her vision grew dimmed as tears welled up in her eyes: not once had she noticed. " _I guess I was too busy talking about myself or enjoying the show to notice_ " she thought with disgust. " _I didnt even try_ " All Judy knew about Nick came from his stories about failed cons or from that one meaningful conversation after he had saved her career...

" _No more"_ she vowed to herself resolutely. Nick had always helped her with her personal life: giving advice, a sympathetic ear or even just a warm hug whenever needed. He had always tried to look out for her when Chief Bogo was on the warpath and had always managed to lift her up from the depths of despair after a especially trying day, with carrot flavoured doughnuts and coffee. She would try to return the favour and become the kind of friend Nick deserved: the kind he had always insisted on being for her.

With that thought and as the sky outside lightened and the cheerful chirps of the first birds on their way too work began to ring through the sky , Judy finally slipped off to sweet sleep: a small smile on her face and her last thoughts lingering on the dumb fox whom she held so dear.


	2. Chapter 2

Hi! Heres chapter 2! Just to say that if any of you nice people have any constructive criticism or suggestions to give, feel absolutely free. I'm not sure whether I should make any formatting changes or the like yet, so if you can give me a heads up on that, I would be grateful! Also I accidentally wrote a lot than I expected. Whoops! Do y'all reckon its too much? Anyway I hope you more enjoy!

Also does Zootopia and everything related to it belong to Disney? Yes. Yes it does? Do I own anything? No. No I do not!

(Yep, I updated this one to make it more user-friendly! No big changes to the chapter itself Thanks for the heads up on that guys!)

Chapter 2:

" _Police! Open up!_ ": Judy's eyes shot open as she heard a loud banging on the door and her head spun to the door on the other side of the apartment. What was going on? What had she done? Where was she? Who was she? Judy's lethargic mind struggled to cope on the 3 hours of sleep she had managed as she fell out of her bed, quickly grabbed and threw on a shirt and shorts from the floor and sprinted to the door.

All the while the knocking continued, constantly breaking her train of thought. She stumbled slightly, fell forwards onto the door, and leaned on it for a moment to catch her breath.

" _Am I going to jail? Would it make the news? Crackers, what would her parents say! What would..."._

Another set of knocks interrupted her. Steeling herself she unlocked the door and threw it open... Only to reveal Nick Wilde with a coffee in one hand and the other reaching for the door . He was dressed in his uniform complete with sunglasses and hat, a easy smile already present on his face and ears perked up.

Nick raised a eyebrow at Judy's dishevelled pyjamas and crooned _"Good morning sunshine!"_ to a gob-smacked Judy. Judy recovered quickly. " _You stupid... Fox!_ " she spluttered, grabbing Nick by his tie and pulling him down to her level.. " _Not the face,_ " Nick yelped playfully as Judy dragged him inside the apartment and pushed him on her couch. " _Officer needs assistance_ " he cried into a imaginary walkie talkie.

" _Give me one reason I shouldn't kick your butt right now_ " she threatened, even as the corners of her lips turned upwards at how Nick was splayed over her couch. Judy was tired, confused and all she wanted to do was reassert some control over her chaotic life. " _Coffee_?" Nick offered, raising his cup to Judy. She took a step forward. " _Okay, okay!_ " he added quickly " _Carrots you can kill me but I dont think you have the time. You remember work? That thing grown ups start to do at 9am? And would you look at that..."_ Nick gasped " _its 8:45 already!"._

Judy's heart skipped a beat, her hair stood on end and alarms went off in her head. _"SweetcheeseandcrackersNickgetoutandstartthecar!"_ she babbled, hauling him back up by the tie and pushing him out the door, before jumping into her bathroom. Nick giggled at the sound of her curses as he sauntered out the door

..

Ten minutes later their squad-car pulled into the road alongside the shining headquarters of the ZPD. It was a bright morning and the streets were crowded with animals as they rushed to work: clad in their suits and uniforms.

Inside the car, Nick idly tapped on the dashboard and cast sidelong glances at his partner in the drivers seat: ramrod straight, fists clenched on the wheel and eyes determined. Her fur was still soaking wet and fuzzy from her shower, and wait a minute...

" _Yep, her body armour is back to front"_ : Nick stifled a laugh. With one hand he reached over and brushed Judy's fur into place as best he could. Judy stiffened for a moment, and then relaxed and gave a slight nod, leaning back into seat slightly. Nick ran his hand gently over a tuft of wet hair sticking out of her head and asked " _You okay Fluff?_ _Normally you're all set and ready to go before I arrive"._

Judy blushed slightly as she remembered why she was so tired. " _Late night_ " she mumbled as she parked the car. Nick nodded and quickly finished his coffee before remarking with a twinkle in his eye " _I never thought I'd see you break one traffic law, let alone all of them at once. We'll make a criminal out of you yet Judes!_ " Judy snorted and made to get out of the car and into the brilliant sunshine but Nick's arm held her a moment. She turned to face Nick with a questioning look and saw him inspecting her inscrutably. Then Nick smiled and with a last brush of her fur and a playful tug of her ears, they got out.

The day passed without incident. Bogo had glowered at the two when they entered but made no comment. The two had been given patrol-on-foot duty until the afternoon. Judy did the patrol with as much vigour and enthusiasm as if she was working a homicide case, bounding forward and asking random civilians if they needed any help :

Nick always followed a few metres behind, eyes scanning the area with extra attention given to anyone near his partner. Judy told Nick about Bunnyburrow as they walked. _"You ever forgotten your siblings names?"_ Nick asked as they ambled down the sunny roads together.

" _What? Of course not, thats horrible!"_ Judy gasped at the very thought. Nick laughed: " _Seriously Carrots? 200 brothers and sisters and you remember all their names? Dont lie to your partner!"._ Judy groaned. " _Nick: I know and love each and everyone of them! I know their names, their birthdays, their friends, their hobbies, their girlfriends and boyfriends and before you ask: No, I've never gotten them mixed up with one another"._

Nick couldnt help but be impressed. " _Thats kind of sad Judes_ " " _What?!"_ Judy exclaimed indignantly. " _Yeah, names and birthdays are one thing: but girlfriends and boyfriends? Sheesh: getta life_ "

Judy gave a mixture of a huff and a chuckle at the same time and the two walked silently for a moment, enjoying the sun on their shoulders. After a while, Nick spoke with genuine curiosity: _"How did you guys get along?". "Get along?" "You know: how'd you avoid fighting or bickering? I can barely handle one bunny: 200 of them must be a nightmare"._ Judy gave a crooked smile. " _Oh har har Nick."_.

She let her gaze wander the crowded streets as she thought the question over as Nick waited patiently. " _We did fight sometimes. But we mostly get along. I mean nothings big enough to get past the fact that we're family and we love each other. Besides bunnies are naturally affectionate! We couldnt hate each other if we tried!"_ Judy grinned. _"This probably sounds cheesy to you"_

" _Noo, noo!"_ Nick replied motioning for her to continue. " _Sure, I threw up in my mouth a little bit, but I'm sure that had nothing to do with your touching speech_ ". Judy stuck out her tongue at him. " _Grumpy fox"_. " _Sweet bunny"._ Another pause. Judy inspected a thick cluster of people, scanning for any suspicious figures and smiling at anyone who caught her eye.

Nick took out a blueberry from a pouch from his police belt and popped it in his mouth. " _You know that pouch is meant to contain ammunition only, right?_ ". Nick smirked " _I know_ ". As they finished their patrol and began to head back towards the ZPD, Judy gathered her courage and asked " _What about yours?_ " " _My what?" "Your family?". "Oh. I mean yeah I got one Judes."_ Nick stammered, ears drooping slightly _". I wasn't born the grumpy old fox you see today. Hey we forgot to buy Clawhauser his doughnuts!"_. Nick dragged his partner to Dingo Doughnuts on 3rd and explained to her why exactly carrot flavoured doughnuts were an abomination. Judy laughed and smiled, but she still felt uneasy. She had caught the flash of fear on Nicks face at the mention of family.

...

Judy and Nick walked out through the marble halls of the ZPD out into the cool afternoon air together. The sun was beginning to set in Zootopia and the city was bathed in a golden dusk. Colleagues chatted and gave goodbyes as they left their glass towers, parents picked up their young from school, asking them what they had learned. The scent of flowers wafted through the streets and a handful of leaves blew across the pavements. The two officers stood together just outside the ZPD. Judy loved this time of the day: her eyes drank in the beauty before her and her nose twitched at the smell of flowers. She had worked extra hard at her paperwork so she could leave the department in time to catch this time of the day: when the city was most like her home.

Nick stood slightly behind her, a soft look in his eyes. Despite all his dark and hard memories of the city, he could not help but be bewitched at this magical time of day when all the filth and sin of the city seemed to disappear.

Then Judy shivered slightly as a chill began to set in, and the two moved silently down the street along the cobbled pavement. As the two approached the fork in the road where they would separate, Judy felt a tug on her heart. She knew what happened next. They would give their polite goodbyes, Nick would disappear into the night and Judy would spend another night wondering about her partner. She didnt know if she could endure it.

As the two strolled: Nick cast a worried look at his partner. She had slowed down to a crawl and her brow was furrowed: she faced the ground as she walked and the expression was downcast. The purple in her eyes had dimmed. When they reached the fork, Nick turned to his partner and spoke first, his voice full of concern

" _Whats wrong Carrots_?"

Judy gave a start at the unfamiliar tone of voice. There it was: the same sincere tone which she had heard only once before. And his face: eyes wider than normal, no sly grin. Judy looked deep into his green eyes and spoke with a small and broken voice

" _Its just... We've been together for a while now and I think we're friends but..._ "

Nick bent down on one knee and took one of her paws in his hand, gently stroking it with his own, while Judy found her voice

" _It feels like I dont know you sometimes and that means I cant help you when you're in pain."_ Nick opened his mouth to respond but Judy continued " _I see you sometimes... That look in your eyes when you think no one is watching. You're my friend and I cant help you and it hurts..."_ Judy took a deep breath " _I'm scared all I get is what I want to see. Like all I get is a mask and I'll never know the real you..."_ her voice tapered off. She held Nicks paw between her own and looked at him beseechingly.

Nick's heart broke at the sight and he gave a mournful whine which echoed through the empty streets. His best friend, his _only_ friend crying because of him. She was right. He was still playing her, just like when they first met. His insides twisted at the revelation.

He spoke softly and regretfully " _Judy, I'm so sorry. I didnt know..."_ He reached out to stroke Judy's cheek and he gently lifted her head to make sure she was looking at him and that her shining purple eyes met his.

" _I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to show you..."_ He paused " _that side of me because I didnt want to hurt you. Everyone loves Nick the con artist, Nick the comedian. I didnt think anyone wanted to meet the real me. I'm so sorry_ _I.." ._

Nick fell backwards onto the street as Judy dove into him, burying her face in his shoulder, and he could feel her body racking with sobs. Nick held on to Judy for dear life, nuzzling her head with his: caressing her and whispering desperate apologies into her ears.

The two stayed like that for a while as the sun finally set and the fiery glow of the sun was replaced with the pale ghostly shroud of the street lights. The stillness of night was only broken by the occasional sob. The chill seemed to have no affect on the two animals as they huddled together.

Finally Judy lifted her head from Nicks shoulder, her fur matted and damp from tears, and looked at him expectantly " _Well?"._ Nick gave a half smile and replied " _Well what?"_ , laughing when Judy flicked his ears. Nick sighed _"I'd rather not let all the skeletons out of my closet at once, Carrots. There isnt enough whisky in the world for that... How bout every Friday afternoon after work, we can play Q &A. No more Mr Wise Guy". _Judy was ecstatic at the thought: the chance to meet the real Nick Wilde! She was also humbled: she seriously doubted many had gotten this same opportunity. She wiped off some of her tears from his uniform, faced him with shining eyes and simply said " _Deal"_


	3. Chapter 3

Hello again! Heres chapter 3! I'm trying to break up my story and chapters into more paragraphs so it doesn't turn into one giant impenetrable wall of fluff. Let me know if you like or disapprove of the change!

Also this chapter is much darker than the previous two. No drugs, sex or violence (sorry guys) but lots of sadness. Readers be warned. Also I wrote much more than I intended again.. Gosh darnit!

Enjoy!

(I own nothing. Everything Zootopia belongs to Disney!)

 **Chapter 3:**

Nick stood outside the door of Judy's apartment, one hand holding two pizza boxes balanced on one another and the other hanging in the air, reading to knock. It was Friday at 6pm. Laughter and shouts could be heard echoing and bouncing off the drab walls through the gloomy halls of the apartment block as people prepared for the weekend.

He gulped and lowered it and instead leaned his head against the hard wood, sighing. His heart thumped in his chest and his body shook. He was paralysed by indecision and in the chambers of his mind, two voices argued fiercely

" _Dont do it, Nick_." A bitter and scared voice urged him. " _You walk in there and tell your sob story and thats it. She'll look all stunned and disgusted, give you a few weak words of sympathy and then she wont want to be around you anymore. You wont be a funny sly fox : you'll be a walking reminder to her of all the pain and misery of the world and no one wants that. You can tell her you forgot, make a joke out of it. Just. Walk. Away"_

The other voice was calmer and more gentle. " _You made a promise. Every minute you keep up the act and shut Judy out, you hurt her. She's your partner and she deserves to know"_

Nick swallowed and came to a decision. He trusted the first voice which had been right so many times before. He believed that if Judy learned the truth, she would leave him. Find some excuse to get away from him: no doubt thinking of the common saying _"Hurt people hurt people"._ He wouldn't blame her, just as he didnt blame any of the others. But he couldn't break his promise. And he certainly couldnt-

Just then the door swung open. Nick, suddenly leaning on thin air, collapsed onto the bunny on the other side.

" _You can get off me anytime now"._ A muffled voice spoke into Nick's chest, paws tapping him to get his attention. Nick scrambled onto his feet and anxiously grabbed a paw and helped the ruffled bunny to her feet, worriedly looking her over.

" _Are you okay? Jeez Carrots, I'm so sorry! Did I hurt you?!"_ Nick fretted

Judy brushed herself off and smiled. She was dressed in jeans and a dark blue ZPD athletics hoodie. " _Just my pride. I smelled something on the other-side of the door"._ She turned eager eyes to the fallen pizza box and asked " _Is that what I think it is_?".

Nick smirked. " _Does Bogo watch Gazelle videos?"_ He strode over, picked up the box and opened it with a flourish. Judy gasped with delight: a sizzling carrot pizza with extra grass. She spun her paws and wafted the smell towards her. Nick gagged

" _I didnt even know those these existed. I just asked for the most disgusting thing on the menu"_ Nick spoke, holding his nose

" _Tasteless fox"_ Judy retorted, grabbing the second box and skipping to the other side of the room to grab some plates.

" _Gross bunny"._ Nick scanned the apartment. It was small: one living room/ kitchen with a few cabinets. A small light-bulb cast a dim light over the room. A small table and chairs (all bunny sized) on one side, a slightly worn leather couch facing a tv on the other. Peeling faded blue wallpaper. A small window through which Nick could see rain trickling down. Another door which led to a bedroom and bathroom: both small and dark. Nick huffed slightly in annoyance as he always did when he visited her flat. " _She saved the freaking city. She should be living in a mansion"_ he grouched to himself _._ His spirits lightened immediately when Judy returned with two plates of pizza, two bottles of Zootopia's cheapest cider and a easy smile on her face.

She directed him to lie on the couch and she pulled up a chair close to him. Nick sunk into the couch with a content sigh: forgetting his earlier anxiety and letting his eyelids droop. Judy also leaned back in her seat and nibbled on her slice of pizza.

Nick let out a sudden cry of shock" _Oh my god, she's actually eating it. Oh the mammality! And what on earth is that green filth? Is it mould?!"_

Judy laughed. " _Its called grass, Officer Wilde"_ She spoke in a mock stern voice _. "Maybe if you ate more greens and less doughnuts, you wouldnt have crushed me so much back there"_

Nick patted his belly and belched. Judy scrunched up her nose and went back to her meal. The flat seemed to get warmer and more comfortable, as they quietly listened to the rain pitter-patting on the window. Nick finished his meal, put his plate to one side and rested his head against the edge of the couch. A moment later Judy finished too. She set her plate and cutlery to one side and the two regarded each other. Outside they could hear a howling wind pick up and hurl a flurry of rain at the window.

Nick laughed suddenly. " _You got a little something on your face Judy... Little to the right... There you go!"_

Judy pulled off a long red hair from her forehead. " _Ugh, stupid fox! Are you shedding? Ugly red hair all over my nice apartment!_ " she chastised him.

" _Whatever will the neighbours say?"_ Nick gave a sleazy smile. " _On you, on the floor, on the couch. Maybe I should go spread some fur in the bedroo-"_

Judy threw a nearby cushion at him. Nick made sure to get as much fur on it as possible.

They took a moment to drink their cider: Nick taking a long swig and Judy taking a sip before coughing slightly. Nick felt the silence grow heavy and realised Judy was waiting.

" _Fire away Fluffles_ " Nick commanded, trying to show more bravado than he felt.

Judy gave him a long look.. He was fidgeting and his accustomed smile wavered, his eyes refusing to meet hers. His hands were shaking slightly until he wrapped them around the bottle..

" _Are you sure?"_

" _Yeah"._

" _No jokes?"_

" _No jokes."_

Judy resisted the temptation to hug him and instead gathered her thoughts. She decided to start off small

" _What do you do for fun?_ "

" _Fun?_ " Nick look surprised at the question

" _Yeah. I mean what do you do after your shifts over? Do you meet up with friends? Do you have any hobbies?"_

Nick looked thoughtfully at the ceiling. He said " _Hobbies? I guess playing cards, although maybe thats a work thing too. Jogging..."_ Nick laughed at Judy's look of surprise. " _You mean it doesnt show?"_ he said, mock offended, as he patted his belly again

" _I've spent so much of my time running away from things, figured I should get good at it."._ Nick hummed, his eyes grew distant and he said softly " _I also like to walk through the city and just take it in"_

" _What do you mean"_ Judy asked, fascinated.

" _At first it was just a con thing. Y'know, find naive young bunnies to scam out of their lunch money."_

Judy shot him a look and he continued

" _Or to get ideas for cons. I musta walked past that elephant ice-cream shop about a dozen times before I worked something out. After a while I started doing it to kind of..."_ Nick paused.. _"Feel company, I guess. Be like them. I listened and watched and for I while I could pretend I was like the group of friends walking through the park, the crowd of guys just having a drink at the bar, the family going out on a picnic..."_

Nick gave a little smile which didn't reach his eyes.

" _And if the answer aint obvious already Carrots, no, I dont have many friends. Any friends actually except..."_ Nick nodded to the motionless bunny sitting opposite him. " _Foxes arent exactly popular animals to begin with. We're predators, so prey hates us and we're weak so the other predators dont respect us. All we can do to survive is hustle a little here and steal a little there. Any one fox might have four or five scams running at the same time. Pretty soon we have a reputation.."_ Nick sighed and looked out the window into the darkness " _There arent many of us so we dont really band together. And we dont really trust each other anyway. Some foxes get mean after a lifetime of scrounging and enough time on the streets, and they stop caring who they're scamming. Family, friends. You name it. I worked with Finnick for three years and I still trusted him about as far as I could throw him. Less actually..."._

Nick finished his drink and then let out a shaky breath. He kept his gaze firmly fixed on the window, holding his composure with sheer force of will. He couldn't look at her. He continued in his steady melancholic voice" _After I became a cop, people wouldn't even look at me, let alone talk to me. I was the enemy now. The person who busted down doors to take away your children, parents, friends and throw them in jail. And thats where we are today. Sorry Carrots, I should just said I was part of a chess club or something. You still awake?"_

Nick finally turned to glance at the bunny. The room had gotten darker and the shadows were longer. A siren howled in the night. Judy was sitting rigid, her ears drooped, her violet eyes wide and full of tears. Horrified, she held a paw over her mouth. She lowered it slightly and spoke in a broken voice. _"Why... Why didnt you ever invite me round and reach out? We could've... I could've... "_

Nick's expression darkened. He hardened his heart and thought to himself " _Better get this over with She deserves to know."_ He cleared his throat. " _Technically you've already been to my place Carrots."_ Judy shook her head, unable to speak.. Nick pressed " _Yeah, you have. Airy? Lots of natural light? Very scenic? Affordable and fox friendly?"_ Judy shook her head uncomprehending at each comment and Nick sighed heavily. " _The bridge, Judes. I didnt invite you round because I ...technically have no where to invite you to"._

This was too much for the rabbit. Sobbing she ran at the red blur she assumed was Nick, leaped onto the couch and onto him, and buried her face in his fur wailing and shaking clutching at his fur and his shirt. She pressed her whole weight onto him and spread her arms across as if to protect him from injuries suffered long ago. She looked back with regret on so many past conversations when she'd talked about her family, her social life, complained about her flat or landlord. Even just when she saw him walking "home" on a wet or snowy day.

For several minutes she was unable to speak, choking on her own tears. " _Nick_ " she cried into his chest. _"After so much time... Why_?". Nick softly rubbed small circles on her back and ran his paws slowly up and down the back of her neck, hating himself for what he had done to her: how much sadness he had laid his muzzle over her head and answered" _I didn't think anyone cared Judy. I thought I'd go my whole life without anyone caring. I was just another shady good for nothing fox"._ He smiled and lovingly ran his paw down her back again, trying to soothe her. " _Then I met you. A remarkable kind hearted bunny, who was immune to all the filth, greed and nastiness of the city. A torch in in the darkness. I talked alot about what I dont have but your company is worth so much more than that."_ Judytightened her grip around him.

Hours passed. The lightbulb flickered a few times and then died, leaving them in pitch black. Nick kept stroking the black mass of fur wrapped around him, occasionally seeing two violet eyes appear to peer at him. " _Judes_?". She shifted slightly to show she heard. " _I should go home now"_. A mumble against his chest. " _Didnt quite catch that Judes_ ". Nick felt the weight on him lift itself slightly and she spoke " _You dont have a home Nick. And if you think I'm letting you go...". "Ever?"_ Judy buried herself back in his fur. Clearly the conversation was over. Nick tried to conceal the relief which bubbled up inside of him. He laid his head back down on her and together they slipped away.


	4. Chapter 4

Hello again! Here's chapter 4! Thanks for all the words of support and criticism: they've been invaluable for both keeping me motivated and making me a better writer and I appreciate it alot!

Enjoy!

(PS: Disney owns everything, I own nothing. Please don't arrest me!)

 **Chapter 4**

Judy woke up when her pillow sighed. She slowly opened one bleary eye as she felt herself sink slightly. Red fur tickled her eyelashes and she lifted herself slightly on her paws. Looking up she saw she the sleeping tranquil face of Nick Wilde, his warm breath blowing over her as he exhaled. Asleep he looked younger and more innocent. His head rested on the side of the couch, one hand used as a pillow and Judy felt the other on her shoulder. As she watched, he gave a twitch and she felt him kick slightly. She hoped it was a good dream

Bright sunshine streamed in through the window of her living room. Judy took a second to wonder and hope whether the confessions of last night were some bad nightmare which fades like fog in the morning sun. But the memory was too vivid and she was resigned to the truth.

" _I wonder when's the last time he slept on a couch? Crackers, whens the last time he slept under a roof?"._ Judy very slowly and very carefully laid her head back down on his chest. She felt it rise and fall, calming herself with the steady thump of his heartbeat.

" _I wonder how many other Nick Wilde's there are_." she thought guiltily." _How many animals just scraping by with absolutely no one to depend on. Turning to crime because its that or starve. How many slept rough in the rain last night? How many of them have I arrested? Ho":_

Judy stopped herself. She couldn't stand to dwell on it. She recalled the advice of her instructor in basic training: advice which she found herself using time and time again. The giant lumbering polar bear had called her over as the other trainees went off to dinner. Judy must have looked terrified because the bear looming over her let out a short laugh and spoke gruffly and her normally booming voice was rather quiet.

" _Relax cadet, I'm not going to shout at you._ _Actually I underestimated you Hopps. You're a good pupil and I'm sure with a little work you can be a great cop._

Judy's eyes had widened and she had opened her mouth to give out an embarrassed thanks but the instructor raised a giant paw and continued

" _But you've got a hero complex. You just wanna go out there and save the whole damn city and everyone in it! Right?"_

Judy had nodded mutely. The polar bears expression had softened slightly

" _Cops do more good than most but at the end of the day, we're just people. Theres always going to be some criminals we cant catch, some wrongs we cant right. You cant take responsibility for everything and you need to learn to accept that. Otherwise it'll crush you. You get that?"_

Another that the bear had lumbered off, leaving Judy speechless.

As her thoughts returned to the present, she whispered to herself

" _I cant help them all. But I can help this one":_ she reached up and patted her paw lightly on his nose. Nick gave a slight mumble in his sleep " _And that's something"._

Again she lowered her head onto his chest, concentrating on his heartbeat and the rise and fall of his chest. There was no way she was going to wake him up

...

Judy eventually felt the breathing lighten and she heard a voice filled with wonder

" _You're still here..."_

Judy raised her head to look Nick straight in his sleepy green eyes and grinned.

" _Of course I'm here. Its my apartment"._

Nick chuckled. " _Doesnt your apartment have a bed, sheets, pillows, that kind of thing?"_

Judy retorted quickly " _So you can run off and sleep in a dumpster? If you think I'm letting you do that again, you really are just a dumb fox_ ". She poked him hard in the belly to accentuate her point.

Nick squeezed her shoulder lightly in gratitude and spoke easily " _It's a nice change I suppose. Sometimes I wake up and I'm hugging some touchy-feely raccoon, but its not quite the same."_

Judy laughed, despite herself.

Nick waited for the other shoe to drop. Judy didn't look disgusted or afraid: all he could see was happiness alongside a glint of fierce protectiveness in her eyes. He blushed slightly

" _Carrots, I cant feel my tail .You mind getting off and letting me stand up a bit?"_

Judy hummed and looked reluctant. Again Nick had to conceal a tickle of delight, unused to being molly-coddled.

" _C'mon Carrots. You think I'm gonna make a break for the door_?"

Judy bit her lip and slowly shook her head. She rolled off and helped him up. Nick groaned as he stretched his limbs and checked if his tail was indeed still there. He paced around the apartment and glanced out the window as Judy, having confirmed that he wasn't planning on leaving anytime soon, prepared coffee and pancakes.

...

Together they sat down at the living room table and attended to their meals. Nick whistled cheerfully and reached into his pocket. He took out a minuscule container which was full of a mysterious purple sauce which he proceeded to spread over his pancakes. Judy sighed and spoke

" _Seriously?"_

Nick put the cap on the bottle and threw it to her. She caught it and sniffed it: smiling as the familiar scent of blueberries filled her nostrils.

" _Theres something pretty freakish about you, Nick_ ". Judy remarked, pouring a little for herself

Nick shrugged and winked " _You know you love me_ "

" _Do I know that? Yes. Yes I do_ ".

They both finished their meals and contemplated their next move. The shadow of last night hung over them. They both knew the situation had changed forever and there was a feeling of slight trepidation and excitement. However neither knew where to begin...

" _O.M. Goodness_ " Nick exclaimed, squealing like a little girl and breaking the silence with his best Clawhauser impression. He clasped his paws to his cheeks and gave a wide smile. _"This is my chance to see the great Judy Hopps on her day off! Does she lift weights and exercise? Does she read up on the latest crime fighting technologies? Does she prowl the streets of Zootopia, giving citizens arrests to those who dare to._.."

" _Shuttup_!" Judy gave Nick a quick shove as she collected the plates and began washing them in the sink in the corner. Nick followed her to help and to critique her washing up performance. She threw a soapy rag at him and grouched

" _You know I hate all that superhero stuff!_ _I'm just a lucky cop who did her job. Only now there's a whole bunch of people with cameras following me around, asking me what I'm doing now, wanting my autograph, interrogating me about my personal life... One guy asked me if I wanted to become the new mayor. Just..."_ Judy gave out a groan.

" _I once saw a Judy Hopps costume at the store_ " Nick piped up

" _Not helping Nick! Dont tell me..."_

" _Its right next to my Judy Hopps figurine collection, my Judy Hopps crime fighting kit, my membership of the Judy Hopps apprec"_

Judy's growl interrupted him. " _Nick, if I ever find any of that rubbish you collect, I'm setting it on fire"_

" _Yes ma'am."_. Nick gave a quick grin before thoughtfully inspecting a dirty glass for a moment. He continued ." _By the way..."_ He cleared his throat and spoke quickly and sincerely, washing dishes as he did so. _"You're not just a lucky cop. I watched you go above and beyond the call of duty and keep going even when literally no-one else believed in you. I sure as hell didnt make your life easier but you never stopped. You're not "just" anything"_

" _Secondly: I'm sorry if all the attention bugs you Carrots. I cant imagine what its like. If its any consolation, think about what it means to have everyone's favourite cop be a bunny. You're a walking reminder to everyone in Zootopia that they can be anything: that their race doesn't have to define them!"_ Nick spoke passionately now, his eyes alight.

" _And thirdly. They're not rubbish, they're highly valuable collectables: and that value is only going to grow as time passes. But I wouldnt expect you to understand that. End of speech"_

Judy settled for a small " _Thanks"_ and hoped her eyes said the rest. She gathered herself together. " _And actually what I normally do is watch soap operas, eat poorly and call my family. But today I'm looking after my favourite fox!"_

" _More pancakes?"_

She spoke commandingly, fixing him with a stern look _"From now on you're my room-mate. My landlord might not like having a fox but I'm sure she wont say no to the saviour of the city. We're picking up all your "collectables"_ she grinned. " _from the bridge and we'll buy any other stuff you might need. You're taking the bed, I get the couch. Understood?"_

Nick's brain short-circuited as he tried to parse what he had heard. He must be missing something. Was she serious? She looked serious but theres no way.. He hadn't considered this in his wildest dreams: he had prepared for everything _but_ this. He stuttered " _Are...are you sure? Like really sure Carrots? You dont have to...y'know. I wouldn't be offended. I.. I mean I can be a lot of trouble at the best of times and it's not like I wont get by or starve or..."_

Judy grabbed his collar and yanked him to his knees and down to her level, before gently pressing a paw over his mouth. She gently shushed him and caught him with her violet eyes. She spoke slowly, making sure he took in each word

" _It's not a favour Nick. I want this. Just let me do this one thing, you proud stubborn fox._ _Think of it as a extended sleepover."_ She smiled sadly _"I know you'd do just fine without me. I know you could go your whole life without showing that anything was wrong. You could go your whole life without relying on anyone else. But I dont want that. Okay?"_

Nick gave a slight nod. Judy lowered her paw and gave a _eep_ of surprise as she felt herself dragged forward and into his embrace. She felt Nick shudder and she heard his haggard breaths. She felt his tears as he laid his head over hears.

" _Thanks Judy_ " he choked out.

" _Awww. You foxes. Sooo emotional"_

" _Laugh it up Judes. I think you've got more fox hair than bunny hair now"_

They shared a laugh and then went about their day: both stronger and happier than ever before.


	5. Chapter 5

Days without fluff: 0

You guys know the drill! Thanks for reviews and criticism. I love you all. I own nothing. Zootopia and Disney owns everything. Yada yada yada.

Let me know how you're finding the story? I find myself taking things quite slow: giving a lot of detail to one scene or the events of one day, rather than moving quickly. Does that seem to work for you guys?

Again warning for depressing stuff in this story. Yet again no drugs/sex/violence,, just some sadness.

 **Chapter 5**

Judy was as good as her word. Soon she frogmarched Nick out of her apartment, down the steps of the building and into the brightness and bustle of Zootopia on a Saturday lunchtime. Both fox and rabbit stopped in their tracks, momentarily dazzled by the sun and overwhelmed by a wave of noise. Cars and trucks filled the streets: their horns blaring and their paint shining in the scorching sunlight. The voices of a hundred different conversations rose above the sea of animals which flowed before them: roars, squawks, hisses, growls. Their noses were filled with the stench of petrol fumes.

Judy looked uncertainly at the colourful mass of bodies before them: the white of polar bears, brown and black fur of bears and bison, the grey skin of elephants and rhinos, the gold and yellow of lions and leopards. The ground shook and the pavement cracked with the weight. She frowned. Normally at this time of the day she was at work or still sleeping. The traffic made driving impossible but walking...

" _Cant see many small animals out there..._ "

Nick crossed his arms and tried to keep a level face " _You kidding Carrots? Any average animal smaller than a elk would get smooshed in that_ "

He waited expectantly. Judy crossed her arms and refused to look him in the face.

" _Judy_?" he crooned, his cool demeanour breaking and his lips curling upwards

She scowled. " _I'm not doing it Nick. We've been here before. I'm supposed to give up and say something like "We'll I guess we cant do it" and then you burst in and say..._ "

" _Good thing I'm no average animal_ " Nick boomed in his best superhero voice. He puffed out his chest, grabbed Judy's paw and sprinted head first into the stream of lumbering giants. Judy screamed

...

They emerged from the forest of legs several terrifying minutes later into one of the quieter alleyways. Judy panted and trembled, adrenaline coursing through her body and sweat running into her eyes

" _You... crazy...fox.. We... could've...waited"_

" _Nah, Judes, we would've been there for hours!"_ He grinned and spoke like a teacher to a anxious pupil, wagging his finger _"Remember those other animals may look big but they're just as scared of us as we are of them"_

" _Scared..."_ Judy took one last deep breath and straightened up again _"of WHAT? Wiping us off their hooves?!"_

Nick brushed himself off, took a moment to straighten his tie and winked at Judy's murderous expression.

" _You try that again Nick and you'll wish you got smooshed."._ She tore off her hoodie which was dripping with sweat and threw it at him, revealing a buttoned up shirt underneath.

" _Yes ma'am_ ". Nick caught it, gave a lazy salute and together they proceeded through the shady maze of streets and alleys. Nick led the way, whistling tunelessly as they carefully stepped over broken glass and rubbish bags. The entire area was eerily quiet and many of the windows around them were boarded up. The buildings around them were grey slabs : the smell of rot hung over everything.

" _Nice neighbourhood_ " Judy commented, her paws itching for the stun gun she had stored at the ZPD. The buildings loomed above them and she felt unseen eyes on her back.

" _Its got a rough charm about it_ " Nick agreed, idly inspecting his paws as they turned yet another corner.

Judy marvelled at how effortlessly he made his way through the streets, never once showing hesitation at which turn to make, always knowing which one of the seemingly identical streets would take them...

" _Yeah, we're lost_ " Nick said calmly with a embarrassed smile

" _Excuse me?_ " Judy hissed with fiery eyes, coming to an abrupt stop. Her muscles tensed as she prepared to jump on him and she puffed herself up to shout

" _Judy, stop_ ". She froze at the use of her full name and the commanding tone of Nick's voice. The fox kept walking and beckoned for her to follow. He explained quickly and quietly as she caught up

" _Getting lost in here is no big deal. Letting people know we're lost is."_ Nick spoke matter of factly _" So just keep it cool. This place isn't that big, so we just keep going straight ahead and we'll be out soon enough. Now smile like I just said something funny and strut like you own the place. You can kill me later"_

Judy smiled through gritted teeth and kept herself from looking up at the windows which surrounded them as she followed Nick. Her ears strained and her fur stood on end. " _Why exactly did we have to go through the dodgiest place in Zootopia_?"

Nick shrugged. " _Zootopia is filled with places like this Judes_. _Can't avoid them if you want to get anywhere, especially if you want to get to know the real city: and not just the ivory towers"_

Judy must have still showed some unease because Nick spoke softly " _If I was a betting fox, I'd say most of the animals in this neighbourhood would give us directions if we ask. Most of em are perfectly nice mammals who got dealt a bad hand. But it never hurts to be careful and its a good habit to get into. After a while you wont need to fake anything"_

Judy nodded gravely, fixing his words in her mind. She stopped walking for a moment to give a big yawn and to stretch with exaggerated movements. Nick rolled his eyes. " _A for effort Carrots_ "

" _Hey, remember that time you got us lost in a bad neighbourhood while carrying a ZPD hoodie in your hand?_ "

Nick went quiet

...

Soon enough the streets opened up again and they reached the meadow beside the abandoned warehouse. The waters bubbled and a nearby willow waved with a light breeze. The smell of mold and decaying rubbish had been replaced with the aroma of grass and flowers. Judy had sighed at the sight and her heart lightened: it reminded her of of the countryside and of home. She could almost imagine the cries and shouts of her friends and siblings..

Judy patted the mossy bridge while Nick had one last lounge on his deck chair as they waited for a taxi which would take them home through the now quiet streets of Zootopia. The sun hung low in the sky. On the grass lay a small pile of Nick's meagre possessions. A tatty and worn sleeping bag, a few changes of clothes, some tins of food.. Judy had stared in dismay as Nick pulled them out of a concealed cubbyhole from within the bridge itself.

" _I have these all over Zootopia Carrots_ " Nick comforted her as Judy stood speechless " _A couple in every district: a box here, a fridge there... Its not as bad as it looks"_

She had just nodded, consumed by images of Nick curled up in that little sleeping bag, eating his meagre rations, exposed to the elements. The beauty of the meadow disappeared and she found herself hating the place: hating how open and wild and unforgiving it was. " _Just get him home."_ she had repeated to herself like a mantra, a vow _. "Get him out of here. Crackers, where is that stupid taxi?"_

As Nick lay on the back and basked in the sunlight, he heard Judy approaching. He smiled and put on his sunglasses. Inwardly his stomach churned with shame. A small bitter voice spoke in his head " _25 years old and this is what you got to show for it? Pathetic"_

" _Hey Nick?_ ". Judy spoke cautiously, standing a little to his left.

" _Mhmm?_ "

" _I understand you might not have been able to..." S_ he picked her words carefully _"be somewhere else when you were a con artist. But since you became a cop..."_ She let the question hang in the air..

Nick opened his mouth to make a joke: possibly about spending all his money on Judy Hopps collectables. He remembered his earlier promise to her, gave a deep sigh and then spoke after a few thoughtful moments

" _I did look._ " Nick's face hardened at the recollection and a edge of bitterness crept into his voice."T _urns out a lot of people dont want to have foxes staying in their flats Carrots. I already told you about our sterling reputation, I guess they thought I'd burn the place down or turn it into a casino or ... Anyway after enough rejections I gave up. I decided to show them that I didnt need or want to stay with anyone: that I could get by on my own. I was sick of having those other animals looking down on me. Sick of playing their games. So I just lived places like here"_

He waved a paw at the surroundings. " _I dont have to live other someone elses thumb and endure all that..."_ eyes narrowed, he searched for a polite word to spit out " _nonsense here. And if anyone unwelcome comes along, tries to start pushing me around, I have four or five back-ups to move to. Thats all I can get_ "

" _Past tense Nick"._ Judy's voice was tender

Nick shook himself back into the present and leaned up slightly from his chair. " _Huh_?"

" _All you could get. You're with me now_ ". She moved a little closer and put a paw on his arm

" _Thats true isn't it? Huh. How bout that.."_. Nick took off his sun glasses and turned to Judy, his green eyes brimming with child-like gratitude. He leaned slightly into her touch and exhaled slowly, letting the anger float away with her touch

Judy squeezed slightly and her voice dripped with sympathy and care. " _You didnt let anyone know you were homeless, just like you dont let anyone in the alley know you dont know where you're going. You've spent your whole life playing a character"._ She shook at the thought and it was as if a shard of ice pierced her heart _"Never let them see that they get to you. I'm so sorry Nick"_

When the taxi arrived, the driver pretended not to notice the pairs watery eyes, their sniffles, or the way the two later leaned against one another in the backseat. Nick waved goodbye to his old home through the back window.


	6. Chapter 6

Hello! Here's chapter 6! I'm trying to tone down the fluff a touch (too much of a good thing and all that), so let me know how y'all feel about that! Again thanks for all the reviews/criticism/favourites/follows!

I own nothing related to Zootopia, Disney owns everything. All hail our Disney overlords!

Enjoy!

 **Chapter 6**

The squad car quietly cruised down the deserted streets. Occasionally the moon's luminescence would pierce through the thick blanket of clouds, before being smothered again. The ground was covered in a thick blanket of fog, carried in from the rainforest district. A discarded newspaper could be seen lifted above the fog by a gentle wind, before fluttering back down. An eerie silence reigned over the city: only broken by the infrequent hoot of a owl.

Inside the squad car, light jazz was playing from the radio and Nick was telling one of his stories, green eyes flashing with mirth.

" _So we finish the deal and me and Finnick step out of those big security doors and right into one of Zootopia's finest: a great big grizzly bear, uniform bulging with muscles, with wide angry eyes who looked like he'd gotten up on the wrong side of the bed that morning_ "

" _Oh noooo"_ Judy smiled, turning her eyes from the road momentarily to face Nick who winked at her. She felt a sudden surge of gratitude: only Nick could make the late night shift bearable

" _Yeah. So I grab Finnick's hand and start going"_. Nick put on his "model citizen" voice _"Oooh, don't worry son, he's one of the good guys. He looks after us!"_

Nick grinned at the memory and continued. " _So Finnick, still wearing his pacifier thank god..."_

" _Wait he was wearing a pacifier?! Why?"_ Judy interrupted with a laugh

"I _n case we encounter any angry ZPD bears Carrots. Anyway Finnick starts bawling his eyes out and absolutely buries himself in my fur. Cop buys it hook, line and sinker and warns us that we were in a bad neighbourhood filled with disreputable figures."_

" _He wasnt wrong"_ Judy remarked

" _Sure wasn't"_ Nick agreed " _So cop wanders off, Finnick goes to start up the van and I go to finish checking and packing up the goods. But as Finnick's sitting there in the drivers seat, spitting out his pacifier and playing with the radio, he hears a tap on the tinted window._

Nick snorted, shifting in his seat slightly " _Of course Finnick thought it was me. So he rolls the window down without looking and says"_ Nick lowered his voice to match his old partners and sounded angry " _What you waiting for? Get in the freaking van man"_

" _Finnick finally turns around and realises he is talking to our old friend"_ A theatrical pause _"the angry ZPD bear who's naturally a little confused. And suddenly BOOM"_

" _Boom?_ " Judy asked, jumping in her seat slightly as her heart skipped a beat

" _I had seen what was going on from the other side of the street. I knew I couldn't warn Finnick in time. We were seconds away from being absolutely sunk and going to jail for a very long time so I did the only thing I could: I lit a match and dropped it in the box of merchandise_ "

Judy gasped.

" _Imagine a hundred thousand dollars worth of fireworks all going off at once Judes"_ Nick's voice took on a dreamy quality. " _Sparklers, rockets, air-bombs, comets, flares, dragons, roman candles, all the colours of the rainbow, all shooting up into the night sky. The sparks from one firework set off another five. The sky exploded and night turned into day, windows smashed, car alarms went off. People were rushing out of their homes shouting, kids were cheering. It was just...beautiful_ "

Judy eyes widened slightly. This was the first time she had heard Nick call anything beautiful. Nick didnt notice: his mind still distant

" _Whizzing, banging, whistling. I tell ya, it was almost worth it Judes. That could've been the most money we ever made but it was almost worth it just to see it go off like that. Anyway as the cop's still gawping at the show, I put out the fire on my tail, sprint to the van, switched seats with Finnick and he got his pacifier back on."_

Judy watched Nick shake himself out of his reverie, with a twinge of sadness. He cleared his throat _"When the smoke cleared and the cop finally turned around, all he saw was a concerned father comforting his poor son who was scared by the fireworks. The cops mouth is hanging open, you can almost see steam coming out of his ears as he tries to take it in. He mumbles something incomprehensible, me and Finnick drive off into the sunset and we live happily ever after"_

Judy giggled as Nick took a little bow and then leaned back in his chair.

" _Is it just me or do alot of these stories involve something exploding_?" Judy wondered aloud

" _Probably just you_ " Nick yawned and stretched.

As they kept making their way through the city, Nick started to doze and to rest his head against the cold window. Judy glanced at him with soft eyes and reflected on the last few days

...

A few days after Nick had moved in, Judy couldn't imagine living without him. Nick had taken pains to become the perfect room-mate: gleefully cooking and cleaning for Judy whenever he got the chance. She would often wake to find him in apron and chef hat, leaning over a boiling pot, stubbornly insisting that bunny cuisine was delicious and all his previous statements to the contrary were wrong.

In the evenings after work, the two would often watch buddy cop shows: with Nick often interrupting to ask Judy if she had ever jumped out of a burning building/ shot down a helicopter/ fired her gun into the air repeatedly. Judy would then either hush Nick or throw something at him depending on her mood

Other times Judy would accompany Nick in his jogs through the dark streets of Zootopia, Judy normally sprinting ahead eagerly and exhausting herself with Nick trotting along at a measured pace, sometimes carrying the embarrassed bunny home when she had misjudged her pace, exhausted herself and collapsed

Whenever one of the two was frustrated or angry, they would silently lay their head in the others lap: sometimes spending the entire night there, letting their fervour and rage slip away in the others embrace. Neither talked about those moments much, too shy to do so, but both were grateful

Nick had taken some time to get used to his new situation. Shortly after moving in, he would offer Judy a chance to throw him out at every opportunity, asking for the thousandth time if she was really sure and reassuring her that he wouldn't be offended. Furthermore Judy quickly became distressed at how little Nick actually ate and she initially had to plead and prod him into having more, mothering him relentlessly and pushing extra courses at him, her stern eyes allowing little room for debate

One of the most contentious issues between them was which of them got the bed. Time and time again Judy would go to sleep on the couch, and would wake up the next morning tucked into her bed. Whenever she confronted Nick, he would feign ignorance and suggest she was sleepwalking. She pointed out it was odd that Nick also sleepwalked to the couch at the same time. Nick wholeheartedly agreed it was strange, and would always suggest they start an investigation immediately, his green eyes twinkling

There had been embarrassing moments for both of them. Once Judy had woken up, had a shower, and then walked into the living room clad only in a towel to make coffee, forgetting she even had a room-mate. She had heard a scream from the couch, as Nick threw his hands over his eyes, sprinted to what he assumed was a open doorway, collided with a wall, and collapsed with his hands still securely fixed over his eyes. She herself had let out a squeal and had fled back to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. The two had still never talked about it.

But in general Judy was the happiest she had ever been. She loved having her favourite fox around: loved being able to have a friend with whom there were no barriers, with whom she could let her guard down and just be regular Judy Hopps with: instead of the superhero many still imagined her to be.

For the first few nights since he had moved in, she had tiptoed to into her dark bedroom to watch over him as he lay curled up beneath a thick pile of blankets: mostly to make sure he didn't go anywhere or need anything. She held her breath as she often laid a gentle paw on the blankets covering him and basked in how _right_ it felt, that he was safe and with her.

...

" _Earth to Judes. You read me Captain?"_

" _Huh? I mean yeah. What?"._ Nick's voice had snapped her back to the present.

Nick laughed. " _Nothing. Just wanted to make sure you didn't drive us off a bridge. You were a million miles away"_

Judy blushed slightly " _Sorry Nick. I was just thinking about how much you could have made from those fireworks_ "

Nick shrugged. " _At least I still had my "wool" rug scam to fall back on_ "

Judy huffed, remembering what Mr Big had nearly done to them, and kept driving. Her eyes widened as she saw two shadowy figures walking down the side-walk a few hundred metres ahead of them. She felt a burst of excitement. Any figures out this late had to be up to no good! Anyone awake right now were either criminals or..."

" _Awww, look! Lovebirds! Can we arrest them Judes? Pleeeease?_ " Nick spoke in a sugary-sweet voice.

He was right. Two dogs, labradors by the looks of them, were strolling down the street paw in paw. The female leaned on the male and her head rested in the crook of his shoulder. Judy sighed and drove quickly past them, wishing to preserve their privacy.

" _Why couldn't it have been a drug deal or a mugging? Stupid safe city_ " Nick grumbled jokingly..

" _Maybe next time. C'mon Nick_ " She pointed to the electric clock on the dashboard which flashed 6:04am at them. Their shift was over. " _Lets go home_ "

...

The two trudged back into the apartment, changing quickly out of their uniforms into their pyjamas. Nick went into the bedroom and Judy, lying on the couch, heard a " _thoompf"_ as Nick collapsed on the linen. Judy waited ten minutes, fighting hard to keep her eyes open, before tiptoeing into Nick's room.

She crept in and watched the rise and fall of the dark mound of blankets and listened to the slight whistle of Nick's breathing. She made her way slowly to the side of the bed and peered at Nick's sleeping face: noting with pleasure how relaxed and content he looked.

" _Goodnight Nick_ ". She whispered, patting him on the shoulder before sneaking out the door.

Nick waited a few minutes, listened to the " _thud_ " of Judy collapsing on the couch and grinned into his pillow. Very slowly and very carefully he slid off the bed and made his way to the living room.

He took a moment to examine Judy. She lay with her back on the couch and she had been too tired to even grab any blankets or pillows. He noted with amusement how her mouth lay slightly open, with a line of drool falling from it and pooling onto a ZPD running top and shorts. Her eyes were covered with one ear, as the other was used as a pillow. One of her legs lay on the couch, the other hung dangling off the side

He leaned over and very gently scooped Judy up in his arms, stopping whenever her breath caught or she shifted slightly. Carefully cradling the bunny in his arms, he made his way back to the bedroom and slowly placed her on the bed. He held in a laugh as he thought about her reaction in the morning

" _Worth it_ " Nick thought as he lifted the blankets over the sleeping bunny and raised her head slightly so he could push a pillow under it. Checking over his work and having made sure she won't be cold, he whispered

" _Goodnight Judy_ " before tiptoeing out of the room.


	7. Chapter 7

Hello again! Here's Chapter 7.

First: a warning. Again theres no sex, drugs, violence. There IS a little description and mention of childhood neglect which you may find distressing. Its not particularly long but its there.

Apologies for the cliffhanger ending, but I felt it was either that or have a ridiculously long chapter.

As per usual, thanks for any and all favourites, follows, reviews, praise, criticism. It all means a great deal to me. Everything Zootopia belongs to Disney, I own nothing

Enoy!

 **Chapter 7**

" _Soooooo... its Friday_ ". Judy spoke cautiously, her wide eyes filled with both apprehension and excitement. As they had passed the day at work, she had become gradually more impatient: tapping her paws against the floor, ears constantly twitching, eyes repeatedly darting to whatever clock was nearby.

The pair were lying on Judy's well used leather couch, fox on one side and rabbit on the other. The TV was on but neither of them were watching.

" _Oh my god Carrots. You're right. I'm so sorry I forgot_ ". Nick raised his hands in apology

Judy smiled and opened her mouth

" _Polar Police 2. I'm sure we can still catch most of it_ ". Nick reached for the remote, yelping when Judy kicked his hand away.

" _Dumb fox_ " she growled.

" _Oh, you mean the other thing?_ " Nick winked. Inwardly, his stomach did a somersault. A part of him hoped she had forgotten. He doubted he would ever feel entirely comfortable talking about his past and he suspected it would only the get worse the deeper he probed.

Judy patted his leg soothingly, brushing the fur and making the fox shiver slightly. " _We dont have to do it if you dont want to Nick_ "

Nick considered politely refusing. He considered postponing it, cancelling it, running out the door. The familiar fear rushed over him and he felt as if he were on the edge of an abyss, wondering whether to jump. He wasn't sure whether he could open old wounds. But the thought occurred to him

" _Has she ever let you down before? Do you think she would ever refuse you anything?_ "

Nick smiled: unusually shy rather than confident or sarcastic. " _You sure Judes? Last time we did this, I ended up moving in and we ended up a lot..."_ another wink _" closer than before. I think I still have a Judy sized indent in my fur. Unless you're planning on us getting married...?"_

Judy gave him another playful kick. " _I think we can stop before it gets THAT far. Besides"._ Her tone turned sincere _"not a day goes by I'm not grateful about you letting me in. Why not take it a little further?"_

Nick swallowed heavily and he imagined himself jumping.

" _Soppy bunny. Ok Doctor: Let us continue this tale of woe and despair_ ": Nick melodramatically sank back in the couch and threw a hand over his face, trying to lift his own spirits as well as Judy's.

Judy sat up, and spoke quickly and quietly: not giving herself time to doubt or hesitate.

" _Why don't you like to talk about family_?"

Nick had been anticipating this question for days. He noticed how she would worriedly glance at him whenever the topic came up. He knew she was curious about it. And yet his blood still froze and he still suppressed a shudder, hearing it spoken. Years of self conditioning had turned his fear and loathing of the topic into instinct.

To Judy's shock, Nick climbed off the couch. He gave a weak smile at her alarmed expression.

" _Relax Whiskers, I'm not running away_. _There's a couple places I should show you, if you want to get the real Nick Wilde experience_ "

As he grabbed his coat from a hook, he spotted a question in Judy's eyes. " _And I promise not to drag you through any-more herds of wilder-beasts or unfriendly neighbourhoods_ "

Judy nodded solemnly. " _Lead the way"_

...

The two were quiet as they walked through the gloomy dull streets of central Zootopia. It had been a miserable day and was developing into a miserable evening: a light drizzle persisted, the roads were dotted with grey puddles, and dark clouds hung menacingly and close over their heads. The animals they passed hid themselves under their umbrellas and kept their heads down, as passing cars shot past, headlights shining harshly through the murkiness, wheels spraying water onto unlucky pedestrians.

Judy kept close to Nick, anxiously noting how his expression seemed to have hardened with grim determination. To her surprise, they seemed to be heading to the leafy suburbs of Zootopia as the houses grew taller and grander, and the cars more expensive. Shaking rainwater from her black waterproof , she marvelled at her surroundings. She had always assumed Nick came from a poor background but these houses...

The sky rumbled: tiny droplets of rains drummed on the pavement and tarmac. Finally Nick stopped outside the gates of one of the houses and sat on the garden wall which ringed the house: taking no heed of the rain which soaked his fur. He spoke with a subdued voice

" _We're here_ "

Judy took a long look at the house. It seemed remarkably normal: a well mown garden with a cobbled path leading up to a two story brick house. Two cars lined the driveway. Light shone out the windows and Judy could make out the figures of people moving through the curtains. It was a picture of middle class domesticity.

Nick remained silent for a few minutes so Judy, taking a seat on the wall next to him, spoke in a low voice

" _I dont suppose we'll find your parents and a couple of happy siblings in there_?"

Nick didn't answer for a moment. He stared intently at the house, a deep longing in his eyes. Finally he spoke

" _I used to sleep right...there_ ", pointing at a shining window at the top left of the house. Judy strained her eyes but couldn't make out a shape within it. He continued wistfully " _The walls were light green: I think they were supposed to match my eyes. I remember I had a big wooden box with toys at the foot of my bed. I had a bunch of ranger scout posters on the wall and...and.."_. He struggled a moment before quitting. " _Each time I come back here, I remember a little less_ "

" _Nevermind."_ He pointed again, this time at the front garden _"Thats where I used to tie ropes, plant seeds, build trenches."_ He recited the mantra. " _Brave, loyal, helpful and trustworthy. I was the perfect scout."_

Judy restrained herself from holding him close. She had to let him finish the story.

" _I never knew my Dad. Mom never told me about him. Every-time I asked, she said she'd tell me when I'm older. Sometimes I liked to imagine he was a spy off on a secret mission or a astronaut in space. I liked to imagine him coming back home one day and telling me about all his adventures. But I never knew him so I never really missed him..."_

Judy silently clenched her fists.

" _But I got on well with Mom_. _As long as we had each other, that was enough. I must have cried for days after the ranger scouts incident and she sat with me the whole time._ _I remember her working hard to make ends meet, worrying about money and such, but she was always there: when I woke up and when I went to bed._ "

Nick shook his head slightly to clear off some rainwater. He continues: the emotion draining from his voice and eyes. He felt as if he were coolly observing himself from a distance, as if someone else was talking. His eyes were fixed on what appeared to be the downstairs living room of the house: reliving the moment.

" _I still dont know what exactly happened next. One day when I musta been around ten, I get home and let myself in. And there's nothing. The house is cold, empty, silent. I check her bedroom and I notice how all her stuff is gone. I figure sure thats weird but maybe it was a work thing for her secretary job. So I just sit myself down, make myself a few sandwiches, throw the tv on, wait for her to come back."_

" _A couple of hours later, its bedtime and she's still not here. I'm freaking out of course but she'll be here in the morning. I stay downstairs with the tv on. I wanted to see her the second she walked in. Plus I was too scared to turn off the lights and walk upstairs in the dark"_

Nick gave a thin bitter smile.

" _Next morning I wake up alone on the couch. I figure she's only a few hours away now. I make some more sandwiches for breakfast. "Just a few more hours". I keep making sandwiches, keep watching tv, keep waiting. Light bulb bursts because I never turned it off: thats okay because the TV gives off some light. Bread runs out, I start living off cereal. Cutlery and plates gets filthy, I start eating out of boxes and cans. Trash is piling up but thats okay because Mom will clean it when she gets back"_

" _I lost track of time but I think it was a couple of days before the police came round. I told them they can wait with me if they like."_ A dark laugh _"They dragged me out of the house."_

The drizzle had become a downpour.

" _I must have come back here thousands of times over the years. Dont know why. I think a little part of me still hopes: still expects Mom to show up to pick up where we left off. Just can't let go I guess"_

Judy was scared. She found herself wishing he got angry, wishing he cried, wishing he showed any emotion whatsoever. Nick's face was so impassive, so empty, that he could have been reading aloud a weather forecast. She looked deep in his eyes and saw... Nothing.

She reached for him and the fox slid out of her reach.

" _One last stop Carrots_. _Still have to finish the story_ "

Judy finally found her voice. " _Nick, maybe another time..._ "

Nick shook his head curtly. " _I can't tell this twice. Lets go_ "

He marched off into the rain.

...

The sign read "Sunny-lane Orphanage"

It looked more like a military compound: complete with barbed wire and watch-towers. The rain beat relentlessly on grey walls and tiny slits which Judy supposed were windows. The buildings themselves were cheap one story blocks, devoid of any colour or character. There was a small patch of concrete beside the buildings on which a few twisted metal structures stood: a playpen.

Nick leaned on the sign.

" _It doesn't look great but it wasn't that bad. You got three meals a day and shelter. Clean beds, hot showers. The animals who worked there were mostly nice. But I was a fox and that made me unwelcome with the other kids. Name calling, muzzling. You name it. Basically the Ranger Scouts all over again, except there was no escape."_

He peered through the barbed wire

" _And... And I still couldn't believe I belonged there. That was for people who didn't have parents but I just knew my mom would come home. Every minute I stayed there, my old home and my old life seemed further away"_

" _So I ran away one night. It was pretty easy and no one looked too hard for a fox. I slept under a bridge, learned how to play cards and hustle, and I would check my old home three times a day to see if mom was finally back. Then once a day. Once every two days. Once a week. You get the idea"_

" _My dad and my mom. Even ten year old Nick saw a pattern of people leaving. Started to think maybe the Ranger Scouts were right about foxes. Sometimes I still think that."_

Nick felt a small paw touch his arm and he gave a start, as if surprised Judy was still there. Her voice wavered and shook as she asked

" _Do you ever think I'll leave you_?" She took a deep breath " _That you'll come home one day and find I'm gone?_ "

Nick nodded. Judy's ears were folded back behind her head and the tips touched the wet pavement. She was aghast. She expected it to be bad but this?

" _Get him home"_ a voice screamed in her head. " _Get him safe"_

Judy got a soft hold of Nick's arm and led him back to the apartment and out of the pouring rain.


	8. Chapter 8

Hello again! This is the final chapter! Its been a great journey writing this story. I could not have done so without all those who showed support: whether by following, reviewing, favouriting, or reading!

I feel like I have finally covered everything that I had wanted to about Nick (at least within this story!). I imagine I shall take a little break before writing anything new. If y'all have any ideas for future stories or scenarios to tackle, please feel free to tell me about them!

Thanks a bunch to those who gave both support and constructive criticism! You both improved the story and motivated me to continue it! I can promise you I read every review that is written down (normally much more than once!) Any and all kind words were taken close to heart!

A few of you were wondering about Nick's mom and if I'd go into more detail on that. I decided to keep the details light on that one to emphasize Nick's confusion. Neither Nick nor us shall ever really know the story behind that (sorry).

So for the last time: Enjoy!

(PS: I own nothing related to Zootopia. Disney owns everything).

By the way, I figured I should take the chance to shamelessly plug my new story: Camping! If you liked the writing style here, feel free to check it out!

 **Chapter 8**

The calm comforting appearance of the warm apartment seemed to mock and belie Nick's inner turmoil, sparked by the visits to his old homes. As Judy led him in, he fought tooth and nail to keep control and to maintain his cool exterior. The mental bandages which he had plastered over his old wounds withered and fell. Ancient walls crumbled. Images and memories oozed and streamed out through his head one after another: an empty house, a muzzle, a smiling vixen helping her son put on a scouts uniform, a can of anti-fox spray.

His head was filled with a cacophony of familiar taunts and jeers which had been lurking and waiting in the dark corners of his mind for years.

" _Useless"_

" _Unwanted"_

" _Fox_ "

" _Criminal_ "

" _Scum_ "

They hissed and spat out the words poisonously, each finding their mark. Sometimes it was the voice of a fellow ranger, another orphan, a passer by. While Nick felt himself be consumed with shame and rage, he kept plastered the best smile he could muster on his face.

...

Nick came to an abrupt halt and Judy found herself pulling on a dead weight. She turned anguished eyes to Nick's still impassive face. He stood stiff and rigid and spoke in a very measured somewhat formal tone, his cold eyes meeting hers.

" _Judy, I need to ask you for something_."

Judy nodded mutely

" _If you ever decide to leave. If..."_ Judy caught a flash of pain in his eyes. " _If you ever find someone or something better. If you get a promotion and think I'm holding you back. If you get tired of living with a fox because we're untrustworthy or because I scare you or I screw up or..."_

Judy let out a slight whimper as she felt her heart shatter. These possibilities had clearly been haunting Nick for some time. She tried to interrupt with a word or a embrace but Nick held up a paw and kept his distance.

" _I promise that I won't be mad. I won't make problems. I won't shout or scream or insist you stay. But please..."_ a touch of desperate pleading entered his voice. " _Please let me know beforehand. Let me say my goodbyes and then I'll never bother you again. I don't think I could stand you disap..."_

" _I love you Nick"_

Nick's demons suddenly fell silent.

" _You're all I really have in Zootopia. You're everything I wish I was: kind, brave, smart..."_ She smiled through her tears. " _Sometimes even funny_ "

She took a deep breath and spoke both earnestly and frankly. " _You mean as much to me as my family in Bunnyburrow. You've always stood up for me, looked after me when I needed it most. I don't even deserve someone like you . Theres no way I could ever let you go"_

Nick stood speechless. He looked for some deception, some insincerity in Judy's face and found none. Her eyes shone at him.

" _I can't imagine what it's been like for you. Your parents, your home."_ Her voice shook slightly " _You shouldn't have had to go through that. Everyone you should have been able to trust..."._ She tailed off, unable to finish and wretched with sympathy.

Nick was still rolling the word love around his mind, trying and failing to comprehend it. He kept looking for a ulterior motive, a hidden meaning. Why would Judy say that? Love was for other animals, normal animals. Not him.

" _But I love you. No matter what happens or has happened. Whatever anyone else says or has said. Please trust me. Trust me not to leave you"._ Judy begged him desperately, having to force out the final words through sobs.

Nick made his choice, closed the distance between the two, picked the bunny up and hugged her fiercely, pressing her against his chest with a arm curled round her back. She clung to his fur and shirt, legs wrapped around him. All the darkness, fear and loathing in Nick's mind dissipated and the claws of the past retracted from his soul. All that was left was a strange sense of peace alongside a fiery affection which grew in his heart every second he held the bunny. He felt as if as long as Judy was with him, everything would be fine...

" _You know what Carrots?_ " he smiled

A muffled " _What"_ from his chest.

" _I think I might love you too_ "

...

" _So I get to the ZPD gym at around 6am for a shower. Of course the place is dark and deserted ..."_

" _Really trying to sleep here Nick_ ": Judy raised her head , opened her eyes a little and glared at the fox lying beside her. One green eye winked at her, flashing in the dark.

That night Judy had once again insisted that Nick take the bed. However when he fetched Judy from the couch as per usual, she had woken up and dragged him onto the bed with had been too tired to argue about it and had sleepily acquiesced to the compromise.

The two shyly avoided physical contact until Judy accidentally kicked Nick under the covers and Nick had duly retaliated. Soon enough they were splayed over one another, trying to find the perfect spot and bickering over who blanket hogged. The fox lay on his back while the bunny was curled up by his side: half covered by the white sheets.

" _Its a good story Carrots_."

" _Meh_ " Judy yawned and reached up to put a paw over Nick's mouth

" _The Chief's in it_ "

A pause.

" _Go on..._ " Judy said expectantly, ears pricking up and her arm falling back down on his chest.

" _I'm walking down the empty hallways and corridors when I start to hear something strange coming from one of the gym rooms. It sounded like... singing"_

Judy raised her head from her pillow slightly

" _I get a little closer. It sounds like..._ " Nick started crooning " _Oh oh oh oh oh: try everything!_ "

Judy gave a groan and Nick laughed. She had long since learned that for what he lacked in singing talent, he made up for in enthusiasm.

" _Anyway I come to a door into one of the exercise rooms. I reach out and push the door open slightly."_ Nick spoke in a hush and Judy strained to hear him _"I've seen some horrible things in my time Judes. But nothing... nothing... Could have prepared me for that"_

The bunny rolled her eyes at the drama

" _Chief Bogo himself. He stood in the middle of the room dressed in a pair of tiny tiny latex shorts"_ Nick shuddered " _and a pink tank top"._

A gasp

" _He was dancing or at least that's what I think he was doing. He was flexing, spinning, star-jumping: all in time with the music. And..."_ Nick started giggling uncontrollably " _His face! He was so into it Carrots! It was like he was doing a military drill or something! Eyes narrowed, mouthing the words, deadly serious. He finally finishes the song, and he gives a bow! I run away and ever since then I make a point of humming Gazelle around the Chief_ "

Judy sank back down into the covers smiling.

" _It was an okay story I guess_ "

" _Okay_?" Nick said indignantly

" _Mhm. No explosions._ "

Nick tutted and a thought came to him.

" _Y'know, I told you this would happen_ "

" _What?_ "

" _That we'd get closer after another of our little chats. Mammals dont get much closer than this_ "

Judy couldn't see Nick's face but she could easily imagine his leer.

" _Least we didn't get married"_ she shrugged lightly. " _Nick you don't have anything...else?"_

" _By else, do you meant traumatic childhood experiences? Sorry Judes I'm all out of those. Try aisle B"._

" _Har har"._ Judy thought back to all her original questions, which had first begun to irritate and drive her what felt like a lifetime ago. One still gnawed at her and she couldn't resist...

" _Nick_ "

" _Yes Whiskers?"_

" _Are you happy?"_

In response Nick squeezed his favourite bunny and Judy nuzzled his side gently.

" _Never been happier Judy"_ he spoke sincerely.

She smiled

...

The morning found them still in close embrace: their chests rose and fell in unison. Judy lay on her fox and her arm curled protectively around him. Nick's face was turned towards his bunny so that she might be the first thing he saw when he started a new day.


End file.
